Our decisions are guided by our inner compass consisting of the morals and values we’ve acquired along life’s journey. These values typically come from our parents or the people who raised us but can also be influenced by extended family, teachers, mentors and friends.
The age old adage, “show me your five closest friends and I’ll show you who you are” rings true because we are ultimately influenced, positively or negatively, by the people with whom we spend the most time. Want to get in the best shape ever? It’s more supportive to do so with friends who like to workout vs friends who’d rather hit up happy hour. What to be in a committed relationship tracked for marriage? You’re probably more safely influenced by healthily married friends or family members vs single gal pals swiping right and looking for a wing girl on a Saturday night. These ideas aren’t set in stone and we don’t ditch people closest to us because we’ve adjusted our goals but it’s always important to surround ourselves with people who help us grow and vice versa.
Maybe you’re clear on your values, have an idea or need a starting point to crafting a personal value system. The Personal Values Card Sort by W.R. Miller, J. C’de Baca, D.B. Matthews and P.L. Wilbourne is a great tool and exercise:
Instructions recommend printing and cutting out each value and horizontally lining up the three headers; very important to me, important to me and not important to me. Underneath each header, begin to place the respective values until all have been placed. And note, no more than 15 values can go in the ‘very important’ category. When complete, take a picture of each category.
In a journal, reflect on the very important category and whether there’s room for growth or improvement in each of the 15 values. Consider specific ways each can be improved and write them down. Keep the entry handy and decide how to keep yourself accountable to the 15 most important values in your life as consistency, discipline and dedication to said values will be the cornerstone to personal growth.